” I wanted to call him” he said, “just to see how he was doing. But you can’t do that. You can’t talk to someone who held your heart in their palm pretend it never happened.
” I wanted to ask why it was so hard to get over him. I wanted to know if he felt pain like knives in his sides like I did. I wanted to know if he ever felt lonely when he listened to music, or if things reminded him of the memories we made.
“I wanted to say that I couldn’t remember the sound of him saying my name anymore and sometimes that scared me but I knew it was important, and that our last kiss wasn;t anything like in the movies, that it was so brief the wind had swept it away before I’d had a chance to commit it to memory. I wanted to explain how now I’d forgotten everything apart from the way he made me feel, like I could do anything, like love wasn’t just for perfect people, like love could also be for me.
” So my God I wanted to call him, but instead I sat on the floor and drank shots like they were tea. To be honest I don’t know if I still loved, but then I suppose you have to love someone to miss them like that; like hell like absolute-fucking hell.”
There’s something about homesickness that maybe doesn’t include four walls and a signed lease. It’s a wave of loneliness that I find is hard to breath under. The place of a house isn’t a homelike feeling at times, and you find yourself wanting someone there. It’s an unsteady feeling, being alone. So, maybe home isn’t a kitchen or a shower, but a pair of arms and heartbeat… and if that’s the case, I’m homesick for a place that doesn’t want me to come home. (via: @poemsporn)
I miss you, but not in the way that I need you or that I won’t be able to go on without you. There are so many attachments when telling someone that you miss them. There are so many different meaning to that phrase, or to that confession. So many different ways to how a person can perceive those words. I want to tell you that I miss you but I don’t want it to seem as if I am hopeless without you.
Sometimes I wander off to places that remind me of you. I can see you standing beside me admiring the scenery in which we lost ourselves in. I can see us creating memories with the wind, with the sunset, with the feel of the day turning into night. Don’t think that I am not myself without you, or that I need you here at every moment to remember that it’s going to be okay. Just know that I miss you, and if I could I would take your voice over the silence any day. (Via:@poemporns)