vehemence

 

12271221_10156195509665587_961594195_o
Vehemence – oil on canvas by Eli (17/11/2015)

 

I hate you.

Was the words I utter. I was, am hurt. And I don’t want to be a hypocrite and say that I am not. Because I am.

I never questioned you…I never asked. Because you help me and you were there when I needed a hand to hold on to. My respect to you was the respect I gave to  my mom. You are family to me.

But one single question changes everything. And BOOM! everything just exploded. Confetti’s everywhere.

And the sad part is, I was not hit with the confettis. I was hit with shrapnels. Shrapnel of lies and each time it hit me…I begin to ask a question.

Was I really that bad? Am I a bad person?

It is true..people will never see the good you’ve done to them. All they can see are bad things…lies …a web of lies.

I did not react..because it would be immature to do so.

So I decide that…

It is time. Time for me to let go…let go of people who manipulates your happiness.

I thank you still. Because without your help I wouldn’t be here. Thank you for the shelter you unselfishly provide. The food, the time and all.

THANK YOU!

 

 

I see you

images

I see you…

I see you in my dreams…in waking up

In thoughtless grin.

I see you…

I see you at dawn…in lurid sky

And eyes forlorn.

I see you…

I see you under the sweltering sun…in changing clothes

Until the moments gone.

I see you…

I see you at dusk…

In sparkling sky of diamond dust.

I see you…

(eli 29/30/2015)

I had to….

11092563_10155381520610587_1487324837_n

I had to realize that maybe it had nothing to do with me. Maybe it had everything to do with him. Maybe I had too much love, maybe I cared too much, maybe his heart didn’t have the space for me. Maybe I saw a new life in him, and he saw a brief passing moment in me. But through all the maybes I’ve realized that there is no pain worse than loving someone more than they love you. It’s like you’re falling in free-fall, expecting that they’ll catch you, and they’re still holding onto their parachute. And, my god, when you hit the ground, it really does break every bone in your body.

-thoughts @2am (vaia @poemsporn)

Temple Run (continuation..)

After exploring Wat Pho. Since it is already 4pm, my last stop was Wat Arun or the Temple of Dawn. This temple almost directly opposite to Wat Pho, so it is very easy to get to. So from, Sapphan Taksin boat pier you can take a river boat, there is a small shuttle boat that takes you from one side of the river to the other for only 3 baht. There is an entrance to the temple which is for 100 baht. It is open from 08:30 to 17:30.

Unfortunately, the weather was really fickle minded that day and the temple was being repaired, I was not able to get inside. I was not able to see the sunset due to the sky was cloudy. But, it’s still okay, the view was still stunning.

1a.jpg
Wat Arun

Exploring Bangkok was really amazing. It would be more amazing if I have more time to explore it. Aside from that,  having a me time once in a while is a bliss. And I am very happy to have this chance. I will definitely come back.

Here are some of the picture I have during my stay.

10

7

6

8

5

4

13

12

11

Croak (Daily Photo challenge 26 – Tonal )

3by: Ely Balmoria (06/24/2009)

YOU came out of the blue
and ME not having any clue;
It was just mere infatuation
that turns into crush to admiration.

Days pass I came to see;
that having you makes my day full of smile and glee.
You’re sometimes wacky..
And YES! You are funny.

You are INSENSITIVE
and little bit naive..
but that makes you interesting and more enthralling.

YES! I’m not a COMPUTER GEEK
or a PSP FREAK;
I’m not Dapper or Charming.
I’m just a FROG who needed a KISS!

Croak!

Lost in translation (Daily photo challenge 22)

2
Bangkok Thailand -Wat pho- 2014

“I look for you in everyone i meet. And that’s why I can never tell if I’m moving on, or just finding different versions of you to keep myself sane, because you’re not here anymore.”

Dreaming ( Daily Photochallenge day 19)

11

You are in my dreams, and I can’t unsee you and I am losing my mind with all these thoughts of you and I hate myself for thinking so in depth about you, when I probably don’t even cross your mind.