wretched heart

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Was it hard letting go of him? It was, and it wasn’t because I missed him, because who he is right now isn’t who I miss, I don’t know who he is anymore. But it was hard letting go because I had this person who had became a huge chunk of my life, a person who lit fires in the darkest parts of me, and then they had left me, the fires burned out and I now had a gaping hole in my heart, and that’s why it hurts to let go. It happens in stages really, I had found myself one day laughing at how pathetic I was for ever loving him, but the next day I was on the floor of my shower begging God to bring him back to me. I think if anyone’s every experienced heartbreak you know how hard it is to do things without that person. It’s entirely way to hard to move on, and it’s also hard to accept. It’s also hard to grasp the fact that the person you had grown to love is now a stranger to you. You don’t talk to them anymore, but you hear about them and your stomach clenches and I can promise you it won’t feel too great. I’m sorry to tell you this but you’ll probably always have a spot for them in your heart, the hole they made can be filled by them, and only them. I truthfully don’t think I’ll ever let go of him fully either. (via @poemsporn)

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