melancholic thoughts of you and me…

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I’m over you. It’s been two years since we split, why do I still think of you? Is that what love really is? To constantly think about someone even after you’ve told yourself that you’ve moved on? Maybe I’m just trying to convince myself that my feelings for you are dead and gone. I’m trying to erase the fact that when I hated everything about the world and the people in it you made me love myself and want to live. I still think about it, and not just at 2am when it’s cliche but at 8am when I’m brushing my teeth and 1pm when I’m going to get lunch and 6pm when I’m doing laundry. I think about it, us, how we were. I think of the good times when we laughed so hard our stomachs ached and we felt dizzy from the lack of oxygen, when we made up our future kids names and picked where we’d live and made fun of how we’d act when we were 40. I also think of the bad times, when you told me that what I had to offer wasn’t enough for you. Was I ever enough? I still question it all the time. At one point, you made me the happiest I had ever been, but then again near the end you made me the most miserable I had ever felt in my entire life. So I ask myself, still, did you really love me? and then I have to ask myself right after, am I really over you? -@poemporns

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